New Visiting Angels Survey Reveals the "Sandwich Generation" Guilt Trap

Most family caregivers say they weren't prepared for the guilt, exhaustion and responsibility that came with caring for an aging loved one, especially those also raising children

BRYN MAWR, Pa., Sept. 15, 2026 /PRNewswire/ -- Family caregivers raising children while also supporting an aging parent can't win: nearly half (49%) say they feel guilty spending time with their kids because they believe they should be with their aging loved one, while 27% say the reverse and feel guiltier being with their aging loved one because they believe they should be with their kids. That's according to a new survey of 2,000 U.S. adults conducted by Talker Research on behalf of Visiting Angels, which finds the "sandwich generation" caught in an emotional bind with no clear resolution.

The guilt isn't isolated to caregivers juggling both roles. It reflects a broader sense that many Americans carry every day. Seven in 10 respondents said they feel they don't do "enough," often because there simply isn't enough time: 23% said they don't talk to loved ones as much as they'd like, 20% said a time crunch forces them to skip working out, and 19% said busy schedules keep them from visiting aging family members. More than half (54%) said their mental load is at maximum capacity in a typical week. For those actively caring for an aging family member, that burden intensifies to 67%.

Part of what makes the role so taxing is how it begins. Most current and former caregivers (62%) said the role arose out of sudden need rather than something they had time to plan for, commonly triggered by declining mobility, serious illness, dementia or stroke, injuries or falls, and hospitalization. As a result, many entered the role unprepared: 23% said they felt unprepared mentally, 22% felt unprepared emotionally and 31% felt unprepared financially.

"Many family members don't plan to be a part-time or even full-time caregiver. It's something that happens over time and can become very taxing on a person's physical and mental well-being," said Scott Parrish, President of Visiting Angels. "The best thing you can do is begin the conversation with an aging parent or loved one about seeking assistance to help them age in place with dignity."

The Hidden Trade-Offs of Caregiving

The role comes with real personal sacrifice. More than one-third of caregivers (36%) said they cut back on "me time" or self-care, making it the most common sacrifice reported, while 27% said their mental health or wellness suffered and 29% cut back on their social lives. Future caregivers appear to already sense what's ahead. Among those who expect to become caregivers, the greatest fears — losing "me time" and declining mental health — closely mirror what current and former caregivers say they actually experienced.

Caught Between Kids and Aging Parents

For the sandwich generation specifically, the emotional toll extends well beyond guilt over how time is split. Caregivers in this position are also grappling with persistent self-doubt: 35% say their top worry is whether they're doing everything right, 30% worry about whether they're understanding the needs of the person they're caring for, 27% worry about whether they're patient enough, and 28% question whether they're a "good caregiver." Millennials and Gen Xers make up a significant share of current caregivers overall, and women represent 63% of all caregivers surveyed.

For more information about caregiving resources and support for families, please visit visitingangels.com/sandwich-generation-survey. 

About Visiting Angels

Visiting Angels is America's leading, most respected network of non-medical senior home care agencies. For more than 25 years, Visiting Angels has provided exceptional home care to families across the country. With over 600 offices throughout the United States, UK, and Mexico and a deep commitment to enhancing the quality of life for seniors, they offer comprehensive in-home care tailored to the unique needs of each individual. Visit www.visitingangels.com for more information. Follow Visiting Angels on Facebook, X, Instagram, and LinkedIn. 

 

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SOURCE Visiting Angels