Lawyers Share Their Dumbest Cases

Type of Case: Lawsuit 
Resolution: Case Declined By Lawyer 

Going to McDonald’s is something millions of Americans do each day, and you already know, depending on the McDonald’s you go to, that you don’t want to mess around with the employees. They’re overworked and underpaid, and customer service takes it out of even the best of us.

McDonald's Isn't For The Weak ©AdmrHalsey/reddit | Take Photo/Shutterstock.com

So, if you try to rob the place, there’s a good chance you’re going to get beat up. And, unlike this person, when you get beat up, you probably shouldn’t sue. No lawyer in the world would take this incredibly dumb case.

Type of Case: Personal Injury Lawsuit 
Resolution: Unconfirmed 

Working as a summer associate is common for people in law school, as it is a good resume builder. You might get some wild cases, such as this one, where a woman sued an apartment complex because she slipped on duck poop and hurt herself.

We see both sides of this rather grimy issue, though let’s just say we probably won’t see a Netflix documentary about this case. The amount of bird puns in the lawsuit was a sight to see, according to the associate who slipped them in there.

Type of Case: Divorce Suit 
Resolution: Verdict For The Defendant (Probably)

Though it isn’t confirmed what the verdict was in this case, we’re going to go ahead and say that it was probably for the defendant. After all, you can’t get divorced if you’re not married (even common law spousal agreements don’t kick in until decades later).

So, this girlfriend’s not going to get her $3K a month and house. Be careful who you date, as some people are crazy enough to be their own NBC Dateline special. Luckily, this woman had no case—literally.

Type of Case: Lawsuit 
Resolution: Case Declined By Lawyer 

This case is certainly silly, though we do feel for the would-be plaintiff here, as he sounds as though he is struggling with mental illness. That’s not Disney’s fault, however, as his claims were ludicrous.

Never Heard Back @david edwards/pinterest

He wanted to hire an attorney to sue Walt Disney because Disney characters were sneaking into his fridge at night and stealing food. The attorneys made short work of that, asking him for a $100,000 retainer that went, of course, unanswered. Hopefully, this man got the help he needed. He doesn’t need a lawyer; he needs a doctor.

Type of Case: Labor Suit 
Resolution: Unconfirmed 

This happened in Brazil, and, while we’re not totally sure of the laws there, we’re pretty sure it’s not allowed for the judge to act this unprofessional. Flirting with a plaintiff or defendant is a no-no in the courtroom.

Inappropriate Judge ©u/alekdefuneham/reddit | Colin Dewar/Shutterstock.com

It’s crazy we have to say that. This isn’t an episode of Love Island on Hulu, after all. According to the lawyer who posted this, the hearing and case was closed to the public, so, luckily, no one saw this judge embarrassing himself.

Type of Case: Criminal “Drug” Case 
Resolution: Charge(s) Dismissed 

This is police laziness through and through. The cops arrested a guy for marijuana possession, but they never actually checked the foil bundle they thought was marijuana (must have been near shift change).

Burrito Crime @killerbutton/reddit | beckyswade/Instagram

The foil bundle did not contain drugs; it contained a burrito. The judge rolled his or her eyes and sent everyone home, dismissing the case. Hopefully, the arresting officer was embarrassed—as he should be. Loving Taco Bell is not a crime.

Type of Case: Personal Injury Lawsuit 
Resolution: Unconfirmed 

This is an embarrassing thing for the lawyer, as she probably should have brushed up on her anatomy before questioning an orthopedic surgeon as the expert. When she mentioned to him the word “tibula,” he latched onto it, saying there was no bone called the tibula.

The Tibula ©bang-a-rang47/reddit | Elnur/Shutterstock.com

She was thinking of either tibia or fibula, and she must have combined the words together. While that’s not common knowledge, she should have prepared more for the case by learning the correct name of the bone at issue. If she’d watched a few episodes of ABC’s Grey’s Anatomy, this wouldn’t have happened.

Type of Case: Lawsuit 
Resolution: Case Declined By Lawyer 

We love fast food pancakes just as much as the next guy, but suing over them is a bridge too far. This “dumb case” involves a man scorned. He was angry that Burger King stopped serving pancakes, and he wanted to sue.

Fair Point @kritycat/reddit | Burger King Cayman Islands/Facebook

Of course, no one took this case, as Burger King, a private establishment, can do whatever it wants with its menu. Instead of suing, this man should take his business to IHOP or Waffle House.

Type of Case: Lawsuit 
Resolution: Case Declined By Lawyer 

Voodoo witches versus a psychic—how would that turn out? This sounds like a horror movie you’d find on WBD, not a lawsuit. But, according to this lawyer, a woman attempted to sue her neighbors for using voodoo powers on her.

No Thanks, Ma'am ©Danmax/reddit | Vera Petruk/Shutterstock.com

Voodoo is a religion characterized by rituals, sorcery, and spiritual possession, among other things. It can be quite nasty if you run afoul of it, according to some, but, luckily, this lady was psychic, so she was able to dodge her neighbors’ ill intents.

Type of Case: Property Rights Lawsuit 
Resolution: Case Declined By Lawyer 

This weird case involves an Australian man who wanted to sue the city of Melbourne, Victoria over property rights. He apparently found a rock on his property that he believed came from an underground volcano.

Supervillain Case lawyerlady/reddit | ImageBank4u/

Therefore, he decided, he owned the underground volcano and the city owed him rent to build atop it. This sounds like something you’d find in a Marvel or DC comic book, not an actual case. Needless to say, the case was declined by the lawyers here.

Type of Case: Insurance Fraud 
Resolution: Verdict For The Defendant (Probably)

Though there’s a lot of hate out there for insurance companies, these companies really do need lawyers, as scammers are out there. Businesses such as Allstate, Nationwide, Guardian, and more have top-notch legal teams for reasons such as this.

Oh, No! What A Coincidence ©guripandagurl/reddit | SB Arts Media/Shutterstock.com

That said, you don’t need to call in the Scotland Yard to see that people are full of it. If they are mysteriously taking a home inventory right before their house “accidentally” burns down, there’s no way that’s legit.

Type of Case: Criminal Grand Theft Auto
Resolution: Guilty, Probably

This sounds like an “A man walked into a bar” joke. In this case, a man stole a trio of trucks. Just two were recovered, but police were unable to find the third. But, they didn’t have to wait long to locate the stolen truck.

Three Truck Thief ©Wacocaine/reddit | Virrage Images/Shutterstock.com

This dingdong defendant showed up to his grand theft auto hearing driving the third one. We can’t even say that this was good police work to find the third stolen truck, as the guy rolled out the red carpet to get nabbed for GTA a third time.

Type of Case: Family Law Custody Case 
Resolution: For The Father, Hopefully 

When we think about nasty cases with a lot of drama, our minds might want to jump to criminal law, and that’s understandable. However, you won’t find crazier, more unstable people than in the realm of family law.

What A Great Mom ©varthalon/reddit | trekandshoot/Shutterstock.com

For example, this ex-wife took her son off of his medication before sending him to her ex-husband’s. That’s so wrong, as it not only endangers the child, it interferes with the ex-husband’s custody agreement.

Type of Case: Theft 
Resolution: Charge(s) Dropped

We all hear about cases like this on the news, where people don’t deserve to be charged and get railroaded by the state anyway. In this case, an elderly man accidentally stole a sandwich (he thought he’d paid for it).

How Did It Get That Far? @CalgaryAlly/reddit | jonathanpielmayer/Unsplash

He sat and politely ate his sandwich in the store, only to have the cops called and get arrested. The case went pretty far, until this prosecutor dropped the charges over what was clearly a misunderstanding. Doesn’t the state have better things to do?