Interior Design Projects That Weren’t Worth the Money

Standout Feature: Randomly placed toilet on a staircase
Estimated Cost: $224 – $531*

With the property market through the roof and space becoming a rare commodity, people are getting more creative when it comes to small spaces. We see fold-out beds and dining room tables, innovative designs such as those seen on Tiny House Nation and while oftentimes the design is thoughtful and clever, sometimes it is just plain cheeky.

Bathroom Staircase @ShowcaseIDX / Pinterest.com

For instance, this toilet on the stairs idea. The obvious issue here being privacy. Bathroom time is the ultimate personal experience, a sanctuary of solitude, a moment of seclusion in which if a person were to casually walk past would be … awkward to say the least.

While we can appreciate the dedication the homeowners seem to have to their plants judging by the number of watering cans they have, they could certainly pay a bit more attention to detail to the rest of this area. Namely, why not hang the toilet paper properly? And what purpose does the large corner shelf (that is not in the corner) serve? But let’s be honest, it’s unlikely there is very much logic behind this area’s design at all. 

Standout Feature: Urinals made from trumpets
Estimated Cost: $1,100 to $2,500 per trumpet*

There is an expression which is to blow one’s own trumpet which means to talk about oneself or one’s achievements in a way that shows that one is proud or perhaps even too proud. These toilets would be the opposite of that it seems.

Trumpet Toilets @massivemusic / Pinterest.com

The toilet has been an inspiration for art and installation art for many years. For instance, Marcel Duchamp’s Fountain which is a toilet bowl signed ‘R. Mutt’ of which a version sold for $1,762,500 at Sotheby’s New York. The toilet bowl has been the subject of debate about what is art and why is this piece considered art. 

Or the golden toilet at the Guggenheim Museum called America. It is a fully functional toilet made of 227 lb of solid gold valued at $4-$6 million dollars. A total of 100 000 people lined up to use this golden throne and it was eventually stolen. There have been several arrests linked to the theft but it has not yet been recovered. An offer of $124 000 reward has been made for the return of the toilet. 

Standout Feature: Marble that looks like feces
Estimated Cost: $6500 – $15,000*

It’s unfortunate to have a bathroom unit, which is meant for daily personal hygiene, that looks like it’s been attacked by a baby’s diaper or a victim of bad sushi or the very best scenario, coffee stains.

Misleading Marble Bathroom Counters @pausecafein / Pinterest.com

One has the instinct to pull the fanned napkin out of the retro 70’s box and wipe the brown right off the countertop. As a guest walking into the bathroom, I can imagine being very concerned about the well-being of the house’s inhabitants.

The patterns seem like an afterthought at best and one questions the color choice as well as the random swirl design which even if they were not in Brown No. 2 would still be mystifying. The designer of this marble bathroom has surely lost their marbles. 

Standout Feature: Many, many, many dolls
Estimated Cost: $600*

This is truly horrifying, in fact, there must be a horror film that starts off in a room like this, and if there isn’t, there should be. A college student arrives home from a frat party (or something like that) walks in and wonders where all her friends are, yells out their names (cue horror music in the background) close up on the doll’s eyes opening one at a time and there you are, horror movie 101.

Doll Room @pleasehatethesethings / Instagram.com

Or it could be an episode on Hoarders featuring a doll obsessed subject who has collected dolls their whole life compulsively. Let us say if you have this many dolls you should perhaps warn your date before taking them home for the first time. 

Depending on the dolls’ brands however, the owner could be sitting on a very lucrative hobby, as much as it might scare away any potential suitors. Rare dolls can fetch thousands of dollars at auction or on eBay.

Standout Feature: Zebra everything
Estimated Cost: $6,705 to $7,823*

This room is hypnotic, and not in a good way. The zebra print is so intense that one starts to see dots in places there aren’t any like those optical illusions in the mall. When the eye seeks a reprieve from the black and white stripes, it is met with a purple so intense it would make Fifi La Fume want to escape the room. 

Purple Zebra Livingroom @sugarbear7469 / Pinterest.com

The room looks like many parties have come and gone and the decorations accumulated over time, there are purple baubles, purple table decorations, and a long plant on the window that looks like a Christmas wreath unraveled and tried to escape. Who can blame it, really?

Many people look for meaning in animals and what they represent. For instance, the lion represents strength and leadership. In symbolism, the zebra represents balance. Yin and yan and the art of seeing things from both sides. The best side to view this room from, is outside. As in not in the room or anywhere near it. 

Standout Feature: Bed surrounded by a pool
Estimated Cost: $40,000 and $60,000*

When picturing the perfect bedroom, one thinks of natural light, a soft breeze through the large windows, wooden floors with scattered rugs, tapestries, and large, green plants. None of this is compatible with a bed surrounded by a pool.

Pool Bedroom @hotflashvickie / Pinterest.com

For one thing, there is no fresh air in this room. Furthermore, it would have a heavy stench of chlorine, which is not exactly conducive to relaxation and a good night’s sleep. It would be a terrible idea for sleepwalkers, and of course, any kind of electronics would be a total hazard. Let alone those middle of the night bathroom visits when we try not to open our eyes fully so as to stay at least partially asleep.

While it might save on the Planet Fitness monthly subscription, doing laps in the bedroom could be a lot more appealing if you can go directly from the bed to the pool in the morning. No need to get up and drive to the gym, this idea becomes strangely more appealing. 

Standout Feature: Mirror above the bed
Estimated Cost: $8 to $15 or more per square foot*

This 70’s hotel room has a lot going on. The first thing that draws the eye is the mirror above the bed, then when the eye falls on the sheets one can’t help but wonder if they are clean? The green carpet with a suede finish creates vacuum cleaner marks throughout the room and this is just the beginning of the questionable design here.

Teal '70s Hotel Room @pleasehatethesethings / Instagram.com

Once again we see carpets leading up to a bathtub, as we have already established, wet carpets are never a good idea and smell terrible, as well as causing mold. And those drapes above the tub are just .. confusing. One can’t help but wonder if they are that color intentionally or if they are just old and stained. 

Large hotel chains like Hilton have to work constantly to upgrade and stay relevant. In today’s modern economy, hotels are becoming more and more obsolete with today’s traveler preferring an ABNB over a hotel, making the industry more competitive. One wonders how or where hotels like this one actually exist. 

Standout Feature: Carpets all the way up the sides of the bath. 
Estimated Cost: $32 to $100 per square yard*

This looks like a mid-way renovation. Perhaps it was a bed that is being converted into a bath, thus explaining the bath posts which would normally be reserved for a bed, which if they were meant for a bathroom are as perplexing as the carpet since wood and water don’t go together very well.

Carpeted Bathroom @city_ambiant / Pinterest.com

This brings us to the carpet. Anyone who has smelled wet carpet would agree that there is no logical reason for having a carpet fitted in a bathroom, not to mention all the way up the sides of the tub. Needless to say, it would be extremely hard to keep clean and dry, and if there is a toilet in there too… well, anyone with a little boy at home will know the problem with that. 

On the subject of wet carpets, one can’t help but notice there is no shower curtain. Perhaps when installing bedposts around the bath they didn’t consider the very important accessory. There is also a mystery contraption along the side of the bath on the floor which looks like part of a constructions site. In the words of Alice in wonderland, ‘Curiouser and curiouser’.

Standout Feature: Vinyl padded cupboards
Estimated Cost: $200-$300 per cabinet*

The oven looks positively horrified at this jewel-encrusted, shiny vinyl, padded kitchen decor, and who can blame it? Even the little pots on the countertop look like they’re making a run for it. Jokes aside though, this kitchen is questionable, to say the least.

Vinyl Kitchen @funnydailydose/Pinterest.com

This is a perfect example of trying too hard. Often the most eye-catching (in a good way) design includes minimalist touches of luxury. Hints of gold amongst neutrals, or natural wood contrasting smooth grey concrete. In other words, less is more when it comes to design.

Perhaps for someone extremely accident-prone, it could be helpful to have padded cupboard doors, and if they need to be padded, vinyl would be easier to clean than fabric. But really, none of this should even exist. Even the color is problematic, looking stained and old. 

Standout Feature: Pool, fake grass, bear statue, and deck chairs
Estimated Cost: $4,000 to $15,000*

While the idea of an indoor splash pool is great, there are surely more elegant ways to pull off the idea than this. The first thing that draws the eye is the fake grass, which is a bizarre choice for indoors.

Indoor Dog Pool Room @tope10 / Pinterest.com

The second thing is the deck chairs, usually for sunbathing, which are nonsensical in this indoor setting. Add to that the beach ball and the life jacket on the bear and it becomes rather comical. Though no doubt the bear gets a lot of joy from his pool, one has to give an A for effort for this act of re-creation. 

This room would probably be extremely popular amongst kids, who would be able to enjoy swimming all year round since it’s indoors. Perfect for colder climates, perhaps this is not such a bad idea after all. Especially if the bear could double as a lifeguard! 

Standout Feature: Eyes on everything
Estimated Cost: $100 to 150* with inflation

Did you ever have the feeling you’re being watched? Well, that would make sense if your room had eyes everywhere. While this room might be something kids might get a kick out of, adults would likely find this rather disturbing, if not completely terrifying.

Retro Fuzzy Kids Room @sharonfruit / Pinterest.com

The humorous addition of different color options on this image is only missing a doll that matches the furry interior, why not go all the way and match the dolls clothes since we’ve come this far? Judging by the expressions of the furniture characters, they seem equally unimpressed.

Perhaps if the characters had friendly faces, like PBS’s Sesame Street. There is some interesting psychology behind the reason why kids are so drawn to the red puppet. It is actually because red is the first color they see! So now that we understand this, we can confidently order the red version of this retro fuzzy kids room.

Standout Feature: Toe shaped couch
Estimated Cost: $1000 – $2000*

There is a lot going on in this image. From the mustard yellow sofa and matching carpet to the black patterned back cushions, wooden frame and not to mention the giant toe shaped seats. A veritable hot spot for missing change (and possibly socks) the pillow bulges are questionable both in taste and in function. 

Retro Toe Couch @pleasehatethesethings / Instagram.com

Perhaps loosely inspired by Pedro Friedenberg’s hand chair, which was created in silver, gold leaf, and plastic. A handful (get it?) were made to resemble Italian baroque artifacts, valued at over $32,000 we could say these are the elegant, upper-class cousin of the toe couch pictured above. 

So many places to lose coins, the little indentations must be a nightmare to clean. And if we are talking practically – what is up with the oddly placed golden balls on top of the wooden swirls on the sides? Also, doesn’t it seem like the back pillows start to look like faces if you stare at them long enough?

Standout Feature: Stone everything
Estimated Cost: $6900 for mid-range hot tub*

Hot tub of the Stone Age. Perhaps belonging to the Flintstones, or maybe the Queens of the Stone Age? The concept sounds potentially charming, a stone hot tub could give the feeling of being in a natural spring somewhere in the North of Italy but this design fails to deliver. 

Flintstones Hot Tub Room @dailymail / Pinterest.com

Perhaps a devout fan of ABC’s The Flintstones might want a hot tub room like this one in their home. They could invite their friends and family over and have a yabba dabba doo time. But for anyone else, this stoney room might be a little depressing. 

Low ceiling, strange red brick cutouts, cheap patterned tiles, and a couch that looks like it was found on the side of the road all add up to a poorly executed, shabby end product which is uninspiring, to say the least. This room turns Papa into a rolling stone, who rolls as far away as he possibly can get. 

Standout Feature: The window, which definitely stands out
Estimated Cost: $650 to 1200 not including installation cost*

What can be said about this window? It is true that the wall is a dome shape, perhaps suggesting this window design makes sense, though perhaps a triangular or dome-shaped window would have been less… suggestive? 

Fallic Window @Metallicslime / Pinterest.com

Plus the exaggerated wooden window frames don’t help at all as they pronounce the shape even more, which is completely unnecessary. It could also translate as a somewhat rude hand gesture, not sure which is more offensive. Throw in the yellow plaid couch and it’s all a bit of an eyesore. 

What also catches the eye is the old TV and what looks like a VCR. It’s quite remarkable how quickly things change. It feels like just yesterday that Sunday night would mean a trip to BLIAQ where we would diligently search all the titles and select the one or two movies we would watch that evening.