Investing Magazine

Magazine:
  • Business
  • Entertainment
  • Lifestyle
  • Sports
  • History
  • Movies & TV
  • Tech & Innovation
  • Automotive

Hilarious Gravestones People Spent Good Money On

Updated: Jan 12, 2024By Audrey KyanovaEntertainment
This article originally appeared on Investing.com. It has been republished here with permission.
©Kelly Mercer/Wirestock Creators/stock.adobe.com ©Kelly Mercer/Wirestock Creators/stock.adobe.com

Though the spooky season has passed us by, that doesn’t mean we have to abandon all things creepy. In this article, we’ll walk you through some of the most interesting gravestones around. Get ready to take a comedy tour (rather unexpected, we know) through cemeteries around the U.S.

Though death may be scary for some (and the subject of many Netflix horror movies), it’s nice to see these people have a sense of humor about their final ending. Who says death has to be a bore? 

1. When You See It

Year: 1920-1998 
Est. Cost: $2,000-$4,000*

This one confused a lot of people on Facebook and Reddit, but, once you see it, you can’t unsee it. The primary gravestone here is that of Burger, a man who died in the late 1990s and his wife, Dorothy, who is still alive and well (they have a twenty-year age gap, after all).

@r/funny/Reddit.com @r/funny/Reddit.com

Did you see it yet? No? We’ll tell you—in the background, you can see a gravestone labeled “Fries.” No doubt, the family got quite a kick out of this gravestone placement of Burger and Fries, when they finally noticed. 

2. Go Ahead, Sit on Jackson

Year: Deceased In 2002 
Est. Cost: $2,900*

Cemetery benches, when they are made of sturdy material and are part of a memorial, tend to cost around $3,000 or thereabouts. So, if you’re paying that much money, why not have some fun with it?

gallery/iVFk5/imgur.com gallery/iVFk5/imgur.com

This bench belongs to Jackson, who passed away in 2002 (thanks to the angle of the photo, it’s not clear when he passed away). The bench near his gravestone says, “HAVE A SEAT ON JACKSON,” giving the man life and humor even in death.

3. A Final “I Told You So”

Year: Photo Taken In 2014 
Est. Cost: $2,000*

According to the person who posted this, they were walking through the cemetery when, “all of a sudden,” they spotted this gravestone. Some people just love to say, “I told you so,” even after they’re in their final resting place.

r/funny/Reddit r/funny/Reddit

“I TOLD YOU I WAS SICK,” this gravestone reads. Let’s hope this is a funny joke, rather than someone who actually was desperately ill and ignored by their family until their dying days. The former explanation is far less dreary and gruesome.  

4. We Don’t Mince Words Around Here

Year: Not Listed 
Est. Cost: $5,000*

Well, you can’t get much more straight-talking than that. While some gravestones (many of them, actually) tend to have Disney movie captions about love and life, others tend to be a bit plainer.

r/pics/Reddit r/pics/Reddit

This interesting memorial, which had to have cost at least $5,000, in our estimation, simply reads, “DEAD,” in geometric, cutout print. This modern memorial certainly stands out among the old, moss-and-lichen covered gravestones in the back.  

5. Go Away

Year: 1934-1983 
Est. Cost: $385*

Joan Hackett was an actress who worked for some pretty big studios, including MGM. She starred in movies like Will Penny and Only When I Laugh, the latter of which nabbed her a Golden Globe and an Oscar.

user/centralsnark/tumblr.com user/centralsnark/tumblr.com

Hackett also had quite a sense of humor, in addition to her acting talent. Her placard at the graveyard reads, “GO AWAY – I’M ASLEEP.” Those who have watched the late Hollywood star’s interviews know that this is about right, as she was quite funny when she was alive.

6. A Conversation Starter

Year: Unlisted 
Est. Cost: $1,500-$2,500*

Ouija boards have been around for hundreds of years (though they were patented in 1890). Chances are, you know someone who has played with this spiritual device and had either a weird experience or a boring one.

©Brian Cahn/Alamy ©Brian Cahn/Alamy

This person clearly was a believer in crossing the veil, as they had their gravestone designed like a Ouija board upon death. The gravestone’s design is unique, and it juts out, as it is placed in a different position than the other markers, likely on purpose.

7. Lifetime Parking

Year: 1917-1997, 1919-2008 
Est. Cost: $1,500*

A lot of people love the neighborhood of Georgetown, as it is a charming area with cobblestone streets, fashion shops, and pretty architecture. Georgetown is in D.C., and it’s just over a square mile, so you already know that parking is hectic.

@babble/twitter.com @babble/twitter.com

One couple, who passed away in 1997 and 2008, made a joke about the hectic parking of the city on their gravestone. The stone reads, “We finally found a place to park in Georgetown!” Lifetime parking, indeed. 

8. Nevermind

Year: 1923-2004 
Est. Cost: $1,500*

We can already tell Lola S. Holt’s attitude on life, and we can’t argue with it. She had, “Oh well whatever,” written on her gravestone, a comment, no doubt, on her demise. It’s true, as what can you do but be dead in a graveyard?

@babble/twitter.com @babble/twitter.com

Lola lived into her eighties, so she must have done something right. Surely, her kids and family remember their mom’s can-do attitude, getting a fond reminder every time they visit her final place of rest.  

9. Uncle Walter Had a Way With Words

Year: 1922-1984 
Est. Cost: $3,000*

“Uncle Walter loved to spend, He had no money in the end. But with many a whiskey, And many a wife, He really did enjoy his life.” This tribute was placed at the gravestone of one Walter W. Stauffen.

@memecollection/imgur.com @memecollection/imgur.com

Stauffen died relatively young in 1984 in his sixties, no doubt due to some of the whiskey-drinking, womanizing ways mentioned in the grave marker. This limerick is refreshingly honest, and Walter seems like he was a fun guy to have a drink with.  

10. What Do They Know?

Year: Not Listed 
Est. Cost: $1,000*

“Now I Know Something You Don’t,” reads the gravestone placard on this headstone. We have to wonder what that is, though we’re pretty sure it has something to do with the age-old question of what happens to us when we die.

@MrPhuckett/imgur.com @MrPhuckett/imgur.com

Did we say “age-old?” We meant, “eternal burning question.” This person had a laugh at her family’s expense (but not in a mean way) by saying that now, finally, she had the answer to life after death, if there is such a thing.

11. There Are Good Deals, and There Are Bad Deals

Year: Not Listed
Est. Cost: $1,500*

“I made some good deals, and I made some bad ones. I really went in the hole with this one.” The hilarious caption on this gravestone takes a tongue-in-cheek attitude towards death, though we don’t know whose grave it is.

@dumpaday/twitter.com @dumpaday/twitter.com

We don’t really need the name or years; this caption says it all. This person literally went into a hole with this bargain, though who knows? Maybe their ghost is still hanging around, waiting to make another bet with unsuspecting graveyard visitors.

12. Hello God, It’s Me Kim

Year: Not Listed 
Est. Cost: $3,000*

Putting a new spin on, “Are you there, God? It’s me, Margaret,” is this gravestone. “Jesus called and Kim answered,” reads the headstone, with a picture of who we can only assume is Kim herself, holding a phone.

@thechive/Pinterest @thechive/Pinterest

That’s a comforting way to look at death, assuming your religious views line up. We never know when we are going to die, but it’s easy to see how taking an attitude like this would be far more comforting than panicking or dreading.

13. RIP Leslie

Year: 1926-2010
Est. Cost: $2,000*

Not only is “Let ‘Er Rip” a great Dixie chicks song, it also is, apparently, a way to welcome your journey into the afterlife. The saying has been around since 1857, according to the Dictionary of Americanisms.

/commons.wikimedia.org /commons.wikimedia.org

The phrase was apparently borrowed from conductors of American steamboats, and, now, it has become popular in the English language. Leslie Nielsen was a fan of the slang, according to her headstone.   

14. You Don’t Say

Year: Not Listed 
Est. Cost: $2,000-$4,000*

“Damn it’s dark down here,” reads the caption on this headstone. You gotta love someone with a sense of humor, as we’re sure, of course, that it is quite dark under the ground. Though this might be spooky in any other context, it’s funny here.

@HadMeSomeChickens/imgur.com @HadMeSomeChickens/imgur.com

There’s always been something creepy about the darkness of a cemetery, and we can only imagine how scary it is underneath the headstones. Luckily, most of the guests residing underground are no longer with us to know. Except for this guy, that is.