Cleaning Up the Streets: P&G's (PG) Tide Detergent Becomes Target of National Crime Wave

March 13, 2012 9:00 AM EDT Send to a Friend
Procter & Gamble (NYSE: PG) is getting some of the best advertising its money can buy...whether it wants to spend it or not.

In what would mount to the most innocent crime spree in the history of the known world (besides stealing glances), reports out recently have Procter & Gamble's Tide laundry detergent drawing interest from thieves across the U.S. who are looking to launder money in a whole new way...detergent on the black market. According to several reports, the day-glo orange bottle, name brand, and relatively expensive price (about $10 to $20 per bottle) make it a hot commodity on the streets.

Police are baffled...as to both why it's happening and how to even track it. One police officer in Kentucky said there are no serial numbers to track the bottles.

But how much can be made slinging Tide? TheDaily.com noted how a St. Paul, Minnesota, man made about $25,000 over 15-months through the acquisition and sale of Tide products. That's anywhere between 100 and 167 bottles of Tide per month, on average.

Checkpoint Systems (NYSE: CKP) is also testing out new security features in several CVS (NYSE: CVS) stores nationwide. TheDaily.com said most simply load-up carts and dash out the front door into a waiting get away vehicle. Why they just don't install tripwires at the exits is a mystery.

Here's another mystery: drug dealers not caring where a tide-for-drugs deal goes down. According to another officer quoted by TheDaily.com, "They'll do it right in front of a cop car — buying [puppies] or [rainbows] with Tide...We would see people walking down the road with six, seven bottles of Tide. They were so blatant about it."

Finally, CVS is supposedly locking-down Tide in certain parts of the country, akin to that of flu medications. So, if you want cleaner, fresher-smelling clothes, you're going to need an ID for that. And maybe you'll end up in a registry of chronic Tide-aholics, or something.

So, how do you spot Tide thievery? First, notice a person's clothing. Are their pants satin-free and shirt a crisper white? All or Wisk don't get the same results, so that's your first tip-off right there.

Next, do they oft excuse themselves to the laundry room at random moments? Do shirts and socks appear just a little more damp when they return? These are signs of a progression into the addiction...the need to spontaneously have freshly-laundered good adorning their being.

Finally, have you noticed sort of a "blue mustache" on the person? With scents ranging from the traditional "original," to the fresh "Mountain Spring," and the engaging "Ocean Mist," users will eventually succumb to simply skip washing clothes and go directly to what they need. This is the most dangerous level as Tide detergent, in any form, is not recommend to be inside the human body. It lacks the proper vitamins and nutrients required to be included in a daily regimen.

Shares of Procter & Gamble are about 0.3 percent better Tuesday morning


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